Her Pain Hurts Me The Most
by Deathcomessoon
Summary: For six years Gaara watched this maddeningly amazing girl smile. He had yet to find out why her smile is false. One-shot GaaraxOc Please R


I just randomly thought of this at like midnight. So here it is.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

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She smiles, but in the six years he has watched her he has yet to find out why.

Normally Gaara doesn't notice anyone, but this girl was different. He noticed her when he was younger, when she smiled at him as the other children ran. He was shocked to say the least. She had no fear of him what so ever. Her wide smile didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes were empty of that bright emotion that her lips showed.

"I'm Sora," She said, still smiling her fake smile.

Back then he thought she was trying to deceive him, as the many assassins always were. So he glared at her with all the hate in his empty shattered heart. He showed every painful lie, every muttered insult, every horrid name, he had every been told, all in that one hate filled glare.

Her empty teal eyes seemed to catch fire, and slowly burned any emotion she was feeling away. So she stopped smiling and turned around, and walked away.

She just _walked away_, didn't say one word as she left him standing there glaring hatefully at her back.

He watched her after that, he managed to convince himself it was because she was his new found prey. That he was going to murder her in a incredibly cruel way. Just for smiling at him, but he knew deep down that he was interested in the strange girl. And yet he hadn't the slightest idea why.

Sora wasn't a stop and stare beauty, but she wasn't ugly by any means. She wasn't the best in the academy, but she wasn't the worst. She wasn't graceful, but she wasn't clumsy. She was average, completely and utterly average. She had sand colored blond hair, quite common in Suna. Nine out of ten women had this hair color.

There was nothing special about her. If she wanted to she could completely blend into a crowd, which she did quite often. She became invisible in her day to day life.

But to Gaara she was unbearably noticeable. On the outside she didn't seem different, she wore a big smile and laughed loudly as she played with the other children, but she is different.

The smile she sports is fake, completely false in every sense of the word. Her seemingly carefree laugh is merely a façade. A mask she puts up to keep others out, without even meaning to.

It seemed as though she was trying to hide whatever pain she felt in plain sight. And it was working, nobody seemed to notice she was screaming silently. Nobody seemed to care that her pain was slowly eating her away, weakening her will to live.

He tried to ignore her existence. He tried to pretend she wasn't even there, but time and time again he found his eyes had wandered to her. He would watch her live her day to day life. He watched every fake smile she gave, every false laugh.

Those around her didn't seem to notice. They took every fake smile as though it was real. When in truth she was lying to everyone who knew her. She pretended to be happy, pretended to smile, but it wasn't real.

He knew that she hoped the pain would go away.

He knew that she wanted to the fake smiles to become real.

He knew that she wished to end her own life.

He knew that she hated each day she was forced to live.

But he couldn't for the life of him understand why.

_Why_ wasn't she happy like the others?

_Why_ is life so hard for her?

_Why_ does she live this way?

_Why_ is her pain so unbearable?

But most of all he wondered.

_Why_ can't he help her?

He didn't know why, but his heart cried for her. It begged for him to end her suffering.

But not with death. He knew he would never be able to kill her. Her blood would never stain his sand like the blood of millions before her. He would never be able to stand seeing her in pain. His hands would never move to injury her.

But death was all he knew. How was suppose to help her if he could not kill her? He wanted to fall on his knees and beg her to smile. A _real_ smile, not that fake one she's always wearing. No, he hated that false smile, completely despised that smile.

He wanted a smile where her eyes would dance, and become the brilliant jade he knows they are.

But most of all he wanted her to smile like that at him.

Without even realizing it, this girl had become his greatest weakness. His every waking thought was plagued by her, her breathtaking features were burned into his mind. Her almost unnatural beauty pained his heart.

Each day no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't help her, he couldn't touch her, he couldn't even speak to her. He knew that she needed someone to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

But he knew deep down he couldn't be that person. He couldn't hold her, for fear of hurting her.

He knew if he allowed himself to touch her he would only further damage her.

He couldn't tell her everything would be okay, because it was a promise he couldn't keep.

He knew everything wasn't going to be okay.

And yet his heart cried for her. It begged him to be there for her. But as he would watch her, he knew it was best if he stayed away from her. He would only taint her more with his demonic nature. Her fleeting innocence would be forever stained by his blood covered hands.

So he made a promise to himself, that no matter how much it hurt him to do it, he would stay away from her. He would never touch nor comfort her. He would never make a mistake as to hurt her. He would protect her from the shadows. She would never know he was there watching her.

And for six, unbearably, long years he kept that promise. He watched her suffer in silence, many times he wondered if he should leave her to suffer. If he should comfort her, but one look at his reflection reminded him what he was.

A demon, a blood soaked disgusting demon. And that was enough to stop him from running to her side and holding her. He wouldn't allow himself to become a flaw in her beauty.

One of those nights when he was watching her from the shadows. A unfamiliar man approached Sora, his putrid breathe smelling of alcohol. He had been drinking, trying to rid his life of his past sins.

Sora tried to walk away, but he grasped her wrist and pushed her against the wall. He tried to force her to kiss him and when she wouldn't comply knocked her unconscious. Gaara watched as her hovered over her small form and then as he tried to remove her shirt. Gaara attacked, using his sand to throw the man and hold him to the ground.

Gaara leaned down and brushed her stray hair from her closed eyes. His hand lingered on her face lightly cupping her cheek.

"Who do you think you are?" He asked to turning to the restrained man. "Who are you to touch what isn't and will never be yours?"

"You're…," He said, his ugly face contorting with fear and hate. "You're Gaara. The monster of Suna!"

"That is what many call me seconds before they reach their end," He said, his face twisting with malice.

"You sick freak!" The drunk man yelled. Gaara just laughed, his face was so twisted with hate you would think Shukaku was taking over, but Shukaku slept at the moment. Shukaku's limitless bloodlust wasn't even present and yet Gaara was preparing to rip apart the mans body and shower in his blood.

"I'm sick?" Gaara asked, glaring harshly at the man pinned to the ground with his blood soaked sand. "You were about to rape this amazing girl. And you would have if I had not interceded."

"Amazing?" The idiot man laughed, "Why do you even care? She is just another pretty face that will die a horrid death at your hands."

"Oh no you are mistaken," Gaara said leaning down beside Sora's unconscious form, "She will not die by my hands, not tonight or any other night. I will allow no harm to come to her. Nobody will ever touch her again. You were just a fluke, I was caught off guard."

"So the monster of Suna has a heart?" The man asked laughing loudly.

"I have no heart. I am a killer; a demon; a murderer," Gaara spat kicking the man in the ribs. He smiled sinfully when he heard a satisfying crack.

"So why do you care for her?" The man asked, spiting up blood. The sight of blood, no not just blood; his blood, made Gaara smile with pleasure.

"I never said I did," Gaara retorted, growling loudly.

"The look in your eyes says differently," The man said, whimpering as the sand surrounding him tightened.

"Enough staling. You die now!" Gaara growled. He allowed the sand to crush his bones, but not kill him. "She is everything to me," He admitted before he completely tightened his fist and shouted, "Sand burial!"

The sand crushed everything left of the disgusting man. His sand didn't even drink the blood of the corpse. It was too tainted, too dirty.

Gaara walked to Sora's side and lifted her into his arms. Her head rested against his chest as she slept, but it wasn't a peaceful sleep. Her hand grasped the front of his shirt tightly as she buried her face in his chest.

She was whimpering and crying out as he carried her toward her small apartment. He let his arms tightened around her, as he allowed himself to hold her, as he had constantly wished to do for years.

He was at her door step when a assassin tried to attack him. What angered him most was the fact he was carrying a defenseless girl and the man tried to attack him. Ninja were supposed to protect the innocent, not drag them into pointless fights. Several kunai met his sand shield as he positioned Sora so he could use his right arm.

"Sand burial!" He said softly, as to not wake the girl asleep in his arms. The assassin was killed easily as Gaara opened the door using his sand. He carried her toward where he knew her bedroom was.

Her apartment was plain to say the least. It had only the bare essentials, not being decorated at all. It was almost too clean considering she was a pre-teen. Her house was just that a house, it didn't have the feel of being a home. It was empty, but Gaara couldn't complain. It was exactly what his room at home felt like.

Unlike other girls her age, she had no pictures on her walls, no stuff animals on her bed, no disguising traits at all. The only picture she kept in the entire apartment was of her dead parents.

It was a simple picture. Two smiling adults holding a small infant. This infant had bright intelligent eyes and sand blond hair. It was obviously Sora as a child, but this infants eyes were happy.

He laid her gently in her bed, taking care not to wake her. She moved slightly but didn't release her hold on his shirt. She pulled him into her bed and wrapped her arms around his torso. He was unsure what to do, so he stayed still unmoving for the entire night. She would toss and turn in her sleep, but always managed to keep a firm hold on him.

She unknowingly slept in the same bed as the monster of Suna. As morning approached her grip on him loosened enough for him to slip away. And as he was about to transport away she cried out, reaching for nothing. He barely stopped himself from returning to her side and holding her.

Shortly after that experience, Gaara had to leave for the Chunin exams in Konoha. The entire time he was there his thoughts consisted of Sora and her well being. Was she okay? Was she hurt? Does she notice he's gone?

But he knew she didn't notice he was gone. She probably didn't even know he existed. She didn't of his inward struggle to protect her from himself. She didn't know how he killed anyone who dared to hurt her. She didn't know how he watched her every night as she placed a rose on her parents grave. How he would watch her silently cry, over their deaths. She doesn't know how much he loved her.

Yes, he loves her. After a fight with a blond boy named Naruto. He realized that a fool only loves themselves. That only the weak keep others out.

He knew he had to find Sora and hold her in his arms. He had to tell her everything was going to be okay. Because now he was sure everything would. He would make sure she everything would be all right. He would love her even if she didn't return the feeling. Even if she hated him for the rest of her life, he would love her.

And then he would protect her from everything, he would make sure she smiled a real smile. He would hold her as she drifted into sleep. She would never cry again.

He hurried to her apartment where he knew she would be. He knocked on her door and waited for an answer, but there wasn't one. He knew something was wrong he could sense it.

He used his sand to unlock her door, and pushed it open. His nose was assaulted with the bitter smell of blood. His heart dropped as he ran frantically around her small apartment, before finding what he was so desperately searching for, in the bathroom.

She was lying in the bathtub, the water crimson with her blood. A kitchen knife lay forgotten on the floor, coated with her blood. Her clothes were soaked with bloody water. Gaara stepped toward the tub his entire body shaking.

Normally the sight of blood would make him laugh, but he blood made him sick. He felt disgusted as the smell of her blood filled his senses. It made him gag, he threw up in the toilet next to the bathtub where his love lay dying.

A note lay on the sink for who ever may find her, but that didn't matter to him. He had to save her. It couldn't of been long for the smell of her blood was fresh. He ran to the side of the bathtub before lifting her bloody body from the water. He pressed his ear to her chest, praying for a heartbeat.

His own heart was going crazy. It was beating so fast he was sure it was going to explode. He took a deep breath and listen carefully. Just when he was about to give up hope and succumb to letting Shukaku loose to destroy the entire village. He heard it.

_Thump_

_Thump_

It was music to his ears, the most beautiful melody he had ever heard. He disappeared in a tornado of sand, appearing at the hospital.

"Help me!" He growled to one of the passing doctors. The doctor jumped back when he realized who it was. "She's going to die. Please!"

"Y-yes Sir," He said, "Nurse!" A nurse ran toward then with a empty bed. Gaara gently set Sora down on it. A group of doctors and nurses was forming around them. Gaara leaned down and to the surprise of them all kissed her forehead.

"Please save her. I know you hate me, and you have good reason to. But you have to save her," Gaara pleaded. The doctor nodded as Sora was pushed down the hall and out of his sight.

Kankuro who had been in the hospital for minor injuries he had received on their mission to Konoha, and saw the whole thing.

He watched Gaara hold this unknown girl to his chest and beg for her life to be spared. He watched his seemingly emotionless little brother press his lips to the girl's forehead.

"Who was that?" He finally got the courage to ask. Gaara looked at him with worried eyes.

"Sora," He said, and for the first time since he was six he cried. The silent tears running down his usually emotionless face. His body shook with angst, for losing the chance to tell his love how he felt.

Kankuro was shocked to say the least, he was unsure what to do. So her rested his hand on Gaara's shoulder. Gaara was practically sobbing. It was incredibly scary, considering the fact he hadn't shown emotion for the last six years or so.

"Kankuro," He said looking up at his older brother with a tear stained face.

"Yes?" Kankuro asked suddenly scared for his life.

"I love her," He stated, admitting it out loud for the first time since he realized it.

"You what?" Kankuro asked shocked.

"I love her," Gaara repeated, "I love her more than anything. More than my own life. And now she will never know. She will die without knowing that someone cares for her."

"Gaara, I'm sure she knows," Kankuro said, trying and failing to comfort his baby brother.

"You don't understand. She doesn't know and she will never know, because I lost my chance. It's my fault, I should've been here to protect her," Gaara said standing. He started to pace back and forth. After about thirty minutes he had lost hope, and was about to kill the next person who talked to him.

"Excuse me, Sir?" A small nurse said to the pacing monster. His sand pulsed ready to attack. He froze and looked at her. She started shaking with fear. He nodded, signaling for her to continue. "Y-your g-girlfriend is o-okay now."

"Can I see her?" Gaara asked, relief filling him and almost causing him to smile. The nurse nodded profusely before giving him the room number. Gaara practically ran through the halls with his older brother following him.

Sora was just waking up when he ran through the door. She wasn't sure was Gaara of the desert was doing in her room, and frankly it scared her. Gaara's eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying.

"Sora," He said, pulling her into a tight hug. She gasped slightly from surprise and slightly from pain, considering she had just slit her wrists.

"You remembered my name," She said smiling a semi real smile.

"I love you," Gaara said, shocking her, "I do and I have for six long years. I'm sorry I wasn't able to make you smile. I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay. I made sure you weren't physically hurt, but did nothing to protect you from this. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry. But I promise I will never let that sadness hurt you again."

Sora jaw dropped, this was the most she had ever heard him speak and he proclaimed his love to her. She was confused, but at the same time completely sure what she wanted to say back to him. She remembered feeling as though she had a guardian angel for years, she never thought it would be Sabaku no Gaara.

She remembered when she had tried to befriend him as a child, and he glared at her. His eyes were so painfully lost she couldn't be mad at him. It was next to impossible for her to hate him as so many others did.

Even though he had killed thousands, she couldn't bring herself to hate him for it. It was a flaw in her personality even if someone hurt her. She couldn't hate that person. She just couldn't. She knew what she wanted to say, and what she felt. She was sure of it.

Gaara had taken her silence as a bad thing and stood to leave, his hope draining from him and his fear of rejection soaring. He should have known this perfect girl would never love him.

He turned to walk out the door, his heart painfully throbbing with each beat, when a small hand wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place.

"I love you too, Sabaku no Gaara." She intertwined her fingers with his as her face lit up with the first real smile she had ever gave to anyone.

And just as he thought, her dull teal eyes became a brilliant jade with happiness and her utterly plain face became completely stunning. She was beautiful when she smiled, but Gaara realized something. She was gorgeous when she smiled at him.

For years he wondered why she smiled that fake smile, but know he knew. She was waiting for someone to notice her façade and tell her the one thing she needed to hear the most.

That everything was going to be okay.


End file.
